Co-Star Trek!

My Dressing Room door!!!

Forever prepared to scamper when my name is called, anticipatory of whenever that occasion may occur, and generally priding myself on my stand-in work ethics of arriving early and expecting absolutely anything thrown my way in regards to my job, I sat patently uncomfortably and morbidly aware of my acute inability to remember how to be an “Actress”. (Keeping in mind, my last real dressing room was in 2002!)

A “performer” I’ve always been, but eying my dressing room regally overlooking the soundstage wherein I was told to relax, rest and enjoy, I felt rather ill at ease... 

What the heck was I supposed to do in there for a whole day?  The Writers were incredibly kind to up my two lines of dialogue to three for my small speaking role on camera, but I was relatively certain that I wouldn’t need utter isolation from production to memorize my part…  So dropping my bag of potential wardrobe in the room, I headed down to the audience seating to hang with the rest of my Second Team as usual.

Greeted with hugs and congratulations, I thanked them for their support before quietly bending a veteran friend’s ear.  “I don’t know what to do with myself” I confessed, not accustomed to idle life amidst the hum of a busy Biz set.

“Sit back and relax!” she offered pleasantly.  “Enjoy not having to take down blocking for anyone but yourself for a change!  And you already know what your blocking is, so you don’t even have to do that!”

“Would it be inappropriate to thank people?” I asked, uncomfortable with the idea of seeming pushy or too aggressive knowing that after our next hiatus I would return to my humble stand-in status.

“Not at all!  In fact, since it happened this way – in house, rather than you being called to an audition – I’d recommend giving a gift basket to the Writer’s Room since they made it happen for you.  Gelsons did a nice one for me for about $40 with wine, a freshly cut baguette full of meats and cheese, and a lovely tapenade when I got my last on-camera speaking role here.  Plus you might want to send a small thank you to the Casting Dept., since they really didn’t get a “say” in the matter of hiring you.  And you might want to send a card to our UPM, because I saw her talking with the Writers after you stood-in for the role, and she agreed with all of them that you’d be perfect to do the part of the Scout Leader.  Oh, and perhaps a card for the Director – since you never know how much he may have pushed for you – and maybe one general card of thanks on the Community Bulletin Board to the cast and crew” she added, as I scrambled to take notes of an altogether different mindset from that of my usual stand-in duties.  “Oh, I gotta go watch the blocking for this scene” she smiled genuinely, hugging me happily once again before heading off to the stage.

Good heavens!  No wonder constant Actresses have a fleet of assistants!!!

Perhaps if I actually owned some fancy technological devices aside from my antiquated Captain Kirk flip phone, I could have moreso appreciated my dressing room wherein I could have taken care of a few of these tasks; but status quo being as it is, I had to wait until after the Network Run-Thru to go home, log onto the ‘poot’, and wait patiently as I do every day whilst the laptop freezes up for no apparent reason whatsoever for anywhere between nine and twenty-one minutes…

But I digress (as I’m prone to do)!

“Hey Pen, could you check in with Wardrobe?” my Second AD asked as I happily scampered back up to my dressing room (finally, something to do!) to present them with the items that had been requested.

“Come on in!” the ladies welcomed me graciously.  “If you don’t have any of the clothes we wanted, that’s OK.  We can always get them for you!  Do you have any khaki pants?”

“I actually did the 1-800-GOT-JUNK in July and threw out almost everything, but I dug through the back of my other closet and somehow these atrocious trousers were miraculously overlooked.  They’re circa 1984 from The Gap, and they’re pleated.  With frighteningly tapered legs…”

“PERFECT!” our Dresser clapped joyfully.  “Did you by chance bring any kind of hiking shoes?

“Will these do?” I asked, pulling out my work boots that had quietly suffered with me through 29 days of hoeing the side of freeways in an orange vest and hard hat a mere lifetime ago.

“GREAT!” she beamed.  “Put ‘em on with this blue tank top, and we’ll try both of those red sweaters hanging there with the scarf; and let me take photos for our Costume Supervisor”, she smiled, shutting the door for privacy.

And folding my clothes carefully, I sat transfixed on those boots for at least five solid minutes…

“Let me know if you need any help, Penny!” our Dresser offered through the door as the time continued to pass.

“I’m all good” I replied, eyes still glued to the hiking shoes that brutally reminded me of so many months of painfully disgusting odious hard labor.  (For those of you blessed to be unfamiliar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD is very, very real…)

But eventually snapping out of it, wiping away a creepy inner cobweb out of one shoe and plucking a few thistles out of the laces, I threw open the door in full wardrobe.

“EXCELLENT!  Leave the pants and hiking boots behind, and we’ll keep them for you in your glamorous dressing room!”

As far as epiphanies go, I gotta say that one was a DOOZY!  What a journey…

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Finishing up showing the crew my two scenes (I only speak in the first one); our Second Second AD whisked me off to the Hair/Make-up Room whilst MY STAND-IN did my camera blocking for me.  (!!!)  And returning about twenty minutes later to watch the latter scene, I beamed from ear to ear to hear our Director say “and on ‘action’, Penny crosses downstage; ACTION!” he commanded to my stand-in; aka my newest favorite person in the whole wide world whatever lived!

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Told to hop into my wardrobe after the cast and crew meal, I could hear the music playing on stage, the Audience filing in happily, the sounds of fun and laughter already ringing throughout the environment.  The joyful energy was infectious, and pulling on my costume in my dressing room I could hardly wait to get to perform!

That is, until it came to those stupid boots…

Certainly, the issue could have stemmed from the rather thick black thermal socks provided by the Wardrobe Dept., but for the life of me, I couldn’t get the bugger shoes on.  Every time I tried, my calves and fingers would revolt in a bizarre sense-memory pain as if my body was somehow rejecting them like a bad kidney transplant...

But as our Audience Warm-up guy continued his shtick with the DJ, I laughed out loud to hear the Rocky music – “Eye of the Tiger”, wherein I finally managed to pull the suckers on.  (Sometimes we all need a bit of encouragement!)

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Eyeing my Q-Lite, I eventually opened the door for my entrance and first bit of dialogue; and embraced by the laughter of 250 people, I immediately felt giddy-stupid-happy as we performed our scene, the audience roaring in their seats!

“Huh…  It’s a shame you didn’t know how to ‘pop’ on your old show, Pen” our Director smiled at me as he strode onto the set to make a few camera adjustments.

“Yes… Yes it is…” was all I could reply in the moment.  (!!!)

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When all was (literally) said and done, our Second Second AD tapped me on the shoulder to run on stage first for the Curtain Call as the Warm-up guy asked the audience to stand and give us all a round of applause.

And waving to the crowd, I bowed down with gratitude as my boots once more caught my eye. 

But somehow, they looked significantly different standing on a sound stage…  (!!!!!!)

And continuing to applaud my fellow Cast members as they were announced, I couldn’t help but burst into tears!

“You did a wonderful job, Penny” our bespectacled Actor smiled as he hugged me.  (!!!)

“Yep, nice job there, kiddo” Mr. Furrowed Brow Actor agreed, wrapping me up like a flimsy rag doll in his massive arms.  (!!!)

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With sincere apologies to the Exclamation Point for abusing it so abundantly in these last few posts, but thanking The Universe profusely!!!

   

And cheers to whatever frontier you bravely choose to explore today!

~Scout Leader P  :)

Work boots; very pleased with themselves to be casually lolled in a Hollywood Network Dressing Room (!!!)