Trapped like an ugly little spud in a Containment
Unit as our DP glanced over the new sets to check his lighting on camera, I
attempted to dart out of sight behind a metaphorical chandelier in an effort to
finish copying my blocking notes and grab a quick breakfast. “Penny, could you sit in the restaurant set
for me?” our DP caught me temporarily in his photon stream.
“Um, I’m HER
this morning, so I just need to finish my notes; but I’m all yours in about a half
an hour!” I smiled pleasantly with a mouthful of sausage, egg, cheese and
biscuit sandwich, hoping to buy myself and my fellow Second Teamers our much
needed (and scheduled) thirty minutes of prep time.“OK!” he grinned happily as he is wont to do.
And scampering back to Craft Services for a side
of bacon (as I’m won’t to do!), I
overheard one Gloomy Gus as she eyed the extravaganza of foodstuffs laid out
before us.
“Uck…
There’s NOTHING to eat that’s GOOD” she whined, bypassing sterno trays
of eggs, egg whites, sausage, bacon, bagels; platters of fresh pre-cut melons and
pineapples, bowls of yogurt, granola, tater-tots, assorted berries and heart-healthy
oatmeal; not to mention an actual human being who had been hired to freshly
prepare individual Belgian waffles upon request, who offered fresh bananas,
strawberries, powdered sugar, butter, margarine and TWO kinds of syrup. “There’s no turkey bacon?” Gloomy Gus scoffed, as if this personal travesty was somehow everyone else’s fault that happened to be within earshot.
Hunh…
Talk about an ugly little spud!>>><<<
Despite the alert from my AD the night before,
and despite having read the script changes for the following day, nothing ever really prepares you for performing
scenes with someone new on the set who is, by all accounts, a Hollywood Legend.
“Could you feed me that line again, Pen?” our
Guest Star whispered quietly to me, to properly set up his joke for the entire
Crew standing in front of us.
“Yes, of course” I responded equally quietly and professionally
(all the while, internally repressing
some seriously career-ending Ethel-Mertz-Squealing at the fact that he had
called me “Pen”!!!)
And feeding him the line, he delivered his first joke
as only HE could possibly do whilst
the Crew naturally erupted in genuine laughter.
“Thanks, Pen” he smiled. (!!!)
“Do you mind if we run the lines one more time?” he asked pleasantly as
the cameras and booms rolled down the stage to the next scene.
“I’d be happy to” I nodded most amiably (trying terribly hard to disregard the
out-of-body experience of hovering overhead and watching myself run lines with
a Ghostbuster!!!)
>>><<<
“Pen-nay” my AD hollered as I obligingly
scampered onstage. “Our Guest Star might
like to go over his lines before we pre-shoot the first scene” he whispered,
giving me a quick dart of the eyes and a
sideways head-tilt towards The Legend who was sitting alone patiently in an
unlit set with his script.
“Yes, of course” I replied (with yet another
repressed squeal!) as I calmly sidled into the chair next to our Guest
Star. “Would you like to run the dialogue?”
I asked casually; confident that as we had already performed three scenes together
(!!!) he’d feel comfortable either way, knowing full-well that I’m not just
some whack-a-doodle nut case fan trying to be near him.
After all, I’m nothing if not
totally professional when it comes to my job.
“Can’t we
just drop a movie quote or two out there, and see if he laughs?!” my Inner-Ethel battled for
her God-given right to gush at a Movie Star.
But quashing Mrs. Mertz as necessary, I continued
to go over the script with The Legend a couple of times until he appeared at
ease with his cues. And frankly, I kind
of knew I could walk away at that point; but to leave a Ghostbuster all alone
in the dark without a photon laser just felt wrong!
“Say out loud;
“Listen… Do you smell something?”” my Inner-Ethel pummeled my pea-brain in
a desperate struggle to bubble to the surface.
“So how long have you known our lovely Leading
Lady?” I inquired; smartly getting out of my own meddling Mertz way and gently
guiding the conversation towards our Guest Star and whatever he wished to share
with me. “And didn’t you appear on an
episode of “Normal, Ohio” with John Goodman?” I queried politely (having been a
stand-in on that show as well).
“Good memory, Pen!” he laughed as we nonchalantly
whiled away the time.
>>><<<
With the announcement that we were finally only
minutes away from shooting, I allowed my Inner-Ethel ONE small gush as to my appreciation of The Legend’s other business
of producing a certain Crystal Head vodka that I’d purchased a while ago (only
the itty-bitty size), that I’d popped in the freezer and had spread out over a
couple of days like a delectable appetizer vis-à-vis my usual cheap hooch.
“I gotta say that was DELICIOUS, Dan!” I shared
with my new BFF.
“Thanks Pen!” he smiled, patting my arm briefly before
walking onto the set.
“That’s
GREAT! Actual physical contact! Can you move?” my Inner-Ethel giddily quoted
our visiting Ghostbuster, infinitely pleased with her self-restraint. “Of
course, you might have mentioned that ten bucks for the itty-bitty sized vodka
seems a bit PRICEY…” Inner-Ethel elbowed me frugally at a missed-out voddy opportunity.
>>><<<
Gathered together in front of our elephant doors
outside the stage painted with our logo, our cast and crew (and a few
Executives from the cable network) smiled pleasantly for our Season Two photo.
“That’s terrific!” the silver-haired top Exec
shouted out of the blue. “But let’s take
just one more, to see what you all look like knowing that you’ve been picked up
for TWELVE MORE EPISODES!” he shouted jubilantly as we erupted happily.
>>><<<
Finding myself in the presence of our Gloomy Gus
later in the day, I was asked my opinion as to our “good news” she smirked with
finger air quotes.
“I don’t understand” I replied honestly, mentally
savoring the meal of twelve more weeks of gainful employment this fall after
hiatus.“Uck…” she rolled her eyes in disdain. “I just hope I book a Network show before then” she sighed.
“I hope you do too!” I smiled enthusiastically!
>>><<<
To the Belgian Waffle Man, may I please apologize
to you on behalf of Gloomy Gus? You did
a fantastic job, and please know that all your hard work and thoughtfulness did
not go unnoticed or unappreciated.
To The Legend Mr. Dan Aykroyd, I thank you for
your kindness, your wonderful sense of humor and for treating this humble
stand-in like a true Co-Star.
And to Gus…
Let me know if I can make any calls for you; because for me, this week
was mostly AWESOME!!!
Living in the Ectoplasm Cosmos of Gratitude,
~Happy Little Spud P (Completely unrelated, but working on the Sony lot last year, my friends and I stumbled upon "ECTO1" patiently waiting for its return to the silver screen.)