Woof!

As I'm new to this site, I thought I'd share a bit of my Hollywood history blogging.

(Nov. 2009)

***

Although I couldn’t quite make hide nor hair of the situation in the moment of standing in front of four television cameras, I felt the most compelling urge to jut out my lower jaw ala a Bulldog with an under bite…

Sure the desire may have been accredited to a few unsightly wrinkles, tired puppy eyes, or the fact that I was feeling a bit “stocky” after feeding relentlessly on free food (hey, I will LICK that bowl CLEAN if you leave it out!); but having been trained to be a champion, I stood perfectly motionless on my designated spot.

Our Director of Photography was pacing about, staring up at the lights, down at our faces, up at the overhead lights again and then waving us around to saunter over to our next position.

“Psst, Penny!” I heard him whisper, catching my eye and motioning for me to move my bangs away from my forehead.

And suddenly, the desire to have an under bite was further enhanced by an indescribable longing for a Pekingese (?) Pomeranian (?) accoutrement to hold the front of my hair straight up in a tiny pink bow.

“Next” he directed us with a flick of his fingers, as we all obediently trotted the well-rehearsed oval in the room.

“Hello?” I began the scripted dialogue, answering my fake cell phone and glancing compliantly at the floor as my Actress had done all week.

“Psst, Penny! Chin up… CHIN UP!” the DP chimed in yet again, motioning with his hand and an imaginary squeaky chew toy. “Favor B and C cameras, but stay ear-level with Chris while he listens in to the conversation!” he continued with hushed enthusiasm. And squaring my hind legs (if you will) like a Pug for the vertically challenged actor, we managed to finish the scene with all proper jumping about playfully.

I was just about to metaphorically lick myself congratutorially after a few more hours of bounding around like a loyal Labrador in the park, setting up three different camera angles on location, perking up my ears and barreling towards whomever was calling my name at any given moment; when at last my Actress arrived.

And territorially shepherding her (in her treacherous five inch heels) to her first mark for the opening scene onto some perilous rocky terrain, I stood guard ala a protective Great Dane until the cameras were ready to roll.

*Sound Speed: Scene H, take one, Cameras A, B, C and X. Marker.*

“Thank you my Precious!” she smiled, statuesquely bending down to plant an affectionate kiss squarely on the top of my head.

And skittering away, I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps there might be a miniature sweater and a large designer handbag somewhere nearby for me to hop into…

***

As no official ribbons or trophies were handed out, I suppose I’ll never know if I won the title of “Best in Show”; after all, no one examined my teeth, stroked my belly or even bothered to fondle my tail. (Darn it!)

But still slobbering lovingly,

~Penny